I have a theory that nice girls don't Like me because I'm not manly enough. What can I do about this? Well, one thing that has occurred to me is that I don't drink beer. I like woossy girl's drinks. Anything that's sweet. I like Lambrusco. I like the taste of de-alcoholised Lambrusco even better. And my favourite drink is Lemon, Lime & Bitters. What sort of a man am I???!!!

It was then that I realised that my problems would be solved by beer! Beer, GLORIOUS BEER!

PLAGHH!!!

I can't STAND the stuff! It's a great mystery to me, how so many people can like the taste of it. And if it tastes like this the first time, why do people stick with it to develop a taste?

Nevertheless, I must try to like it. On Saturday 14 July 2001 I had my first full glass of beer - a Hahn Premium Light. PLAGH!!! after every sip. Sweet Kay had 2 of them in the time it took me to drink half. Then I gulped the rest. Saturday 28 July 2001 I had my second - a Redback. PLAGH!!! Then on Sunday I tried a little bit of Coopers - PLAGH!!! I also had a little more Hahn, and realised how much better it was than Coopers - mainly because it was less beery!

It's hard to work out what to drink -every person gives me different advice. But I think next on the list is Boags or Cascade.

Beer will also make me feel more like a proper Australian.
DAMMIT! Next I'll have to like football. Then cricket. And after that... it's straight to the top with belching the alphabet!

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